Link to Original Article

12.30.09

Media consumption: Does it have to be all or nothing? Can we find ways to fit tech tools into our lives sensibly and selectively in ways that actually work for us? In other words, does it have to be feast or famine? Why not figure out sensible diets that allow us (and teach our kids) to consume media rather than having media consume us? Are there experts we can ask about the best ways to adapt our own media diets?

The benefits in so many ways are enormous. But the dazzling growth of accessible digital media has been driving us helter-skelter. The forces let loose are not necessarily healthy. We are so dazzled by digital gadgets (and they truly are amazing!) that we forget to consider seriously how these will eventually impact our children and family lives — and ultimately the picture is not at all pretty.

Families with more media at home have less interpersonal interactions. Media-soaked digital kids are awash in gadgets from earlier and earlier ages, and most are unsupervised and consume mostly junk. Social, mobile, interactive robotic dolls will soon visit our children’s playpens and cribs. Parents feel helpless because they do not know — except for restricting and filtering — how to guide media-saturated kids’ into healthy media consumption. Social media are full of clutter, but the noise is intrusive, overwhelming, and often trivial — and actually often distracts us from and dilutes truly gratifying authentic human contact.

Technology has brought lots of good stuff that can go into a healthy media diet that will actually enhance our lives — in moderation and the right proportions. I wrote KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES to guide parents pay the right kind of attention systematically and comprehensively to promote healthy media consumption in the home from early life.

We some thought, we can commit themselves to pay attention to how we use media at home and elsewhere. We can become more balanced consumers of information and media to enhance or relationships, values, socialization, and intellectual development, yet and still have fun.

12.30.09

Buy an Apple iPad for Your Child? I personally love good technology and will probably get an iPad or something like it for myself. But before bringing a new gadget home, every parent must think through its impact on the kids and family life. Kids left to themselves consume media as they do junk food. The more the media, the poorer the grades and the lesser imaginative play and family interactions. According to a recent Kaiser Family Foundation poll, 1/5 of those ages eight to eighteen now get as much as nineteen hours of media daily but report more unhappiness. I am also concerned that parent distraction by media might be damaging vital formation of youngsters’ brain circuits. I have seen mothers on their cell phones or texting while breast-feeding –surely they are not fully present with their infants at a key moment. Can such interruptions in bonding contribute to later brain-based problems, including to the recent rise autism? There can be great benefits to technology, but there are alarming trends and important unanswered questions. I believe that parents should commit to leading their youngsters towards positive uses whatever electronic media happen to us. They should plan media consumption as they do meals, and for the long run, as they do for college. By being fully present and applying sound child-rearing and family support principles, parents can now create balanced media plans that lead youngsters to the values and orientation they will need to succeed in an increasingly technology-rich world.

Link to Original Article

12.29.09

From a neuroscience POV, our brains are really wired to get the most mileage from social contact, and not necessarily from these types of activities. While these might work, so much stress relief advice these days is too self-centered, empty, and self-indulgent and over-concerned with diet, body, and self-centered thinking. What happened to touching base with a friend or relative — ‘I was just thinking of you and want to say hi’ — or showing a kindness to — or a smiling at, or laughing with — an acquaintance or stranger.

Link to Original Article

12.28.09

A great idea! Too many of us are uneasy – and kids ‘bored’ – and restless when the noise stops. The clutter of modern life — especially the noise and unfocussed energy that digital media bring into our homes, cars, and into our hands — are not necessarily good for our families and growing children. Connection is not friendship. Being present alone within one’ s self or together with family members are moments of intimacy too rare in our current life.

Here’s a NEW YEAR’S resolution for parents: I will take charge of my kids’ digital media activities to make them into safe assets for development and family life. I want to stay present and keep their minds and brains ‘green’. This will take an ongoing commitment, just like dieting or working on a marriage.

Link to Original Article

12.28.09

Adolescence is a period of experimentation often given to such excesses, usually harmless when transient and just require watching and waiting, or gentle nudges from parents. Over-reaction from parents can make things worse when they turn into power struggles. People of all ages — including youngsters — who pull the plug themselves on overuse of any digital media (including video games, social media, Internet, porn, etc.) are way ahead of those who either do not do so or cannot see the need to, or who insist that their excessive use is not a problem.  Excesses of any kind that are chronic or produce family conflict are often lightening of other problems and would not respond to mere filtering.

A much more important general issue, and one that requires much more parental involvement than mere filtering or limiting access, is how kids use digital media in general, how family life is affected, and what place these have in their lives. To raise a successful digital family, this area requires a systematic and comprehensive commitment from parents from an early age and expert guidance, as I give in myKIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES.

Link to Original Post

12.26.09

We are so dazzled by digital gadgets (and they truly are amazing!) that we forget to consider seriously how these ultimately impact our children and family lives — and ultimately the picture is not at all pretty.

Kids are awash in digital media and gadgets, and most are unsupervised and consume mostly junk. Parents feel helpless because they do not know — except for restricting and filtering — how to guide media-saturated kids’ into healthy media consumption.

Technology has brought lots of good stuff that can go into a healthy media diet that will actually enhance family life and child development. If shown how, parents will commit themselves to pay attention and get involved in kids’ digital lives constructively and to the benefit of all. Kids will grow into balanced consumers of information and media and family relationships, values education, socialization, as would intellectual development, and kids will still have fun.

12.26.09

A thoughtful inventory to remind us that digital games can indeed be both esthetic, successful, and even pro-social, challenging all the hoopla that they are always toxic to children. Parents should join kids in playing these wonderful games. Here’s a NEW YEAR’S resolution for parents: I will take charge of my kids’ digital media activities to make them into safe assets for  development and family life. I want to keep their minds and brains ‘green’. This will take an ongoing commitment, just like dieting or working on a marriage.

12.26.09

Here’s a NEW YEAR’S resolution for parents: I will take charge of my kids’ digital media activities to make them into safe assets for development and family life. I want to keep their minds and brains ‘green.’ This will take an ongoing commitment, just like dieting or working on a marriage.

Over the past decade of working with kids and families, I have seen how interactive digital technologies have invaded homes helter-skelter and have become lightening rods for conflict, while the potential benefits have received almost no attention. In my practice, I see more and more vacant kids and families surprisingly empty and superficial.

Connectivity has exploded. It is not the same as friendship nor intimacy. In fact, connectivity seems to trivialize intimacy and friendship, except for girls of at certain ages, where it may be developmentally helpful (although certainly not necessary.) Effects on the developmentally-essential process of mastering separation anxiety and evolving individuation have not been studied, but much seems to now be up for grabs as kids reach parents in a whim and impulse and parents over-schedule and hover over them. Personal boundaries are porous. Increasing clutter and noise seem to dilute and hide authenticity and genuineness. Younger and younger kids — infants and toddlers — are given videos and digital devices without supervision. Intelligent, mobile, social, pre-programmed dolls will soon be coming for play dates with infants in their cribs and toddlers in their playpens.

Studies show that kids over eight spend eight hours daily with some sort of media, often junk. Family members have fewer interactions in homes that have more digital media, and the number of such homes is growing. Video games get a lot of discussion and press. The picture is complex, but they do seem to enhance visual-motor skills and offer some socialization and be relatively harmless (except for the obesity enhancing sedentary-ness, time eaten up, and actual damage to kids in certain high risk groups.) Long-term effects are not clear. The whole process is driven by a robust and exceptionally brilliant entrepreneurial industry — software, media, and hardware — that is a miraculous economic engine, but not at all pro-social or family- or child-centered.

I wonder if parents are aware enough about all that is going on — it seems that we are really not active enough in managing the use of new technologies to benefit family lives with healthy media diets. So, I began working in this space about 6 years ago in therapy with kids up to 18 (see my presentation at the APA 5/09 www.mydigitalfamily.org > PRESS> PRINT and chapter 12 in my book, based on sound child-development principles to guide parents. )

This topic deserves much more discussion. Technology can be a real asset in the home, as it has been elsewhere. Conditions are changing at the speed of light out there as amazing new technologies seduce kids and parents alike — and not necessarily all for the good. And this is all likely to accelerate. Parents need to be more thoughtful, plan ahead, proactive, involved, and lead rather than merely react.

Link to Original Article

12.26.09

Another great application of technology in the home, and one that kids can easily appreciate and learn from. Explain to them how it works, and segway into other topics about using technology in their lives per my KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES.

Link to Original Article

12.26.09

Keeping baby’s brain green must be our first priority, since it is such a complex environment with sensitive – but highly resilient — ecologies. Managing media from early life is an important commitment — and parents go need guidance. This will take an ongoing commitment, just like dieting or working on a marriage.

From Addicting Games Takes on the Teen Market

12.25.09

Over the past decade of working with kids and families, I have seen how interactive digital technologies have invaded homes helter-skelter and have become lightening rods for conflict, while  the potential benefits have received almost no attention. In my practice, I see more and more vacant kids and families surprisingly empty and superficial. Connectivity has exploded. It is not the same as friendship nor intimacy. In fact, connectivity seems to trivialize intimacy and friendship, except for girls of at certain ages, where it may be developmentally helpful (although certainly not necessary.) Effects on the developmentally-essential process of mastering separation anxiety and evolving individuation have not been studied, but much seems to now be up for grabs as kids reach parents in a whim and impulse and parents over-schedule and hover over them. Personal boundaries are porous. Increasing clutter and noise seem to dilute and hide authenticity and genuineness. Younger and younger kids — infants and toddlers — are given videos and digital devices without supervision. Intelligent, mobile, social, pre-programmed dolls will soon be coming for play dates with infants in their cribs and toddlers in their playpens.

Studies show that kids over eight spend eight hours daily with some sort of media, often junk. Family members have fewer interactions in homes that have more digital media, and the number of such homes is growing. Video games get a lot of discussion and press. The picture is complex, but they do seem to enhance visual-motor skills and offer some socialization and be relatively harmless (except for the obesity enhancing sedentary-ness, time eaten up, and actual damage to kids in certain high risk groups.) Long-term effects are not clear. The whole process is driven by a robust and exceptionally brilliant entrepreneurial industry — software, media, and hardware — that is a miraculous economic engine, but not at all pro-social or family- or child-centered.

Many of today’s mental health practitioners, who have themselves been raised with digital media – or raised their own families with online PCs, may think they understand the current situation. Actually, things are not at al the same as they were even yesterday or a year ago — certainly not as they were then or five or ten years ago. Clinicians have tended to avoid the topic — often because of lack of techno-savvyness, or inappropriately regarding the area with suspicion and then merely suggesting restriction or filtering.

I wonder if we in the therapeutic community are aware enough about all that is going on — it seems that we are really not active enough in inquiring about and helping parents manage the use of new technologies to benefit family lives with healthy media diets. So, I began working in this space about 6 years ago in therapy with kids up to 18 (see my presentation at the APA 5/09 www.mydigitalfamily.org > PRESS> PRINT and chapter 12 in my book, based on sound child-development principles to guide parents.) I believe that people in our field can act as leaders and advocates in popular culture to make great uses of these technologies.

This topic deserves much more discussion. Technology can be a real asset in the home, as it has been elsewhere. And besides – it is here to stay. Conditions are changing at the speed of light out there as amazing new technologies seduce kids and parents alike –and not necessarily all for the good. And this is all likely to accelerate. We need to be more proactive and lead rather than merely react.

Link to Original Article

12.24.09

We are so dazzled by digital gadgets (and they truly are amazing!) that we forget to consider seriously how these  ultimately  impact our children and family lives — and ultimately the picture is not at all pretty.

Kids are awash in digital media and gadgets, and most are unsupervised and consume mostly junk. Parents feel helpless because they do not know — except for restricting and filtering — how to guide media-saturated kids’ into healthy media consumption.

Technology has brought lots of good stuff that can go into a healthy media diet that will actually enhance family life and child development.  I wrote KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES to guide parents pay the right kind of attention systematically and comprehensively to promote healthy media consumption in the home from early life.

If shown how, parents will commit themselves to pay attention and get involved in kids’ digital lives constructively and to the benefit of all. Kids will grow into balanced consumers of information and media and family relationships, values education, socialization, as would intellectual development, and kids will still have fun.

Link to Original Article

12.23.09

A wonderful article that demonstrates how clever nature is in designing our children’s minds and brains. Let’s keep these precious ecologies ‘green’ and protect them by putting kids on media diets that enhance family life and development. See my KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES where I discuss this subject extensively.

12.23.09

We must take charge of how media affect our lives rather than merely reacting to the wonderful innovations that come to market and embrace the benefits they bring. This is especially true in raising children and teaching them to live in a technology-rich world

Link to Original Article

12.23.09

A parent’s greatest gift is the devotion to his children and actions that demonstrate this commitment. Currently, our kids are flooded with media and are soaked to the bone with technology. Let us give them nutritious media diets to nourish them and keep them from junk media. Make a New Year’s resolution to do just that for your family. In KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES I show how.

12.23.09

Another great example of technology application in the home. Teach your kids about how it works. Use it as a segway to discuss how they use technology per my KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES.

12.23.09

What a great concept as a teaching toy for kids 5 and up to learn about robotics — the concept of breaking as destruction and application of technology to repair and build -WOW. This definitely an important part of a media diet!

12.23.09

A wonderful teaching toy. But watch out! DO NOT MAKE INTO A TOY FOR KIDS YOUNGER THAN 6 AND DEFINITELY DO NOT PUT ANY SUCH INTELLIGENT TOY INTO A BABY’S CRIB!

Link to Original Article

12.22.09

In my own clinical work, I have found that kids who overuse digital media can have good psychological reasons. These kids often attempt to cope and master difficult episodes and feelings. As a long-term therapist and author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I have seen how kids often overdo video games when upset instead of engaging in more destructive or disruptive behaviors. Obviously, the news story of the mother calling 911 gives us no clue as to what is really going on in this family. And the problem may not be the kid — it may be with the mother. Instead of focusing on the power struggle with kids, it is best to look at underlying reasons.

Link to Original Article

12.22.09

A wonderful essay. Relationships are what we are about and what our brains are designed to manage and experience — the ‘I’ And the ‘Thou’ are THE central organizers of being human and can often get lost in the clatter of our digital world. My KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES is all about this preserving this crucial element in our homes as we raise our children.

Link to Original Post

12.22.09

A good set of points. Here is something else to consider here: Since we are essentially social beings and our brains primarily designed to assure our survival together, how we exchange information or knowledge and how each of us assesses others are deeply rooted in our social experience. We learn and learn how to learn from each other from the very beginning of our lives. As an expert in media and children and author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I believe that the digital age can bring both a false sense of security that we can know everything and that everything is knowable, or, the opposite extreme, unreasonable fears that we can never know enough or that others can know all about us. I believe that part of our current challenge as families is to raise kids in a social and family context who can sort through the torrent of information and its effects on our culture and find healthy ways to prioritize and learn and use knowledge as a means to improving themselves and the human race.”

Link to Original Post

12.22.09

“Thank you for reminding Santa Claus that there is still a Virginia swimming somewhere out there in the flood of media and consumerism. As a long-time therapist, physician, and author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I believe that parents must pull their media-soaked kids out of the torrent and teach them how to swim and navigate, or even stay dry in their own boat! (I apologize for mixing metaphors ;-)).”

Link to Original Post

12.22.09

A wonderful poem — something to treasure and read to families at dinner! And families should have at least one meal together daily. As the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES and a long-time therapist and physician, I have tried to assist parents instill in their children such pro-social values.

Link to Original Post

12.22.09

We know that that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can last long into the future and cause subtle and not-so-subtle changes in how people see things and feel about themselves and others. The long tail of PTSD or its variants can last long into the future and, I believe, irreversibly affect communities and cultures as well as individuals, although not nearly as well studies or understood. I am pretty sure that much of our national experience as Americans is still colored by our 9/11 trauma as we search for a context for its meaning and its effects on our view of ourselves and others, and what we may expect from our leadership and institutions. As a psychiatric expert , thinker, and author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I believe that the post-traumatic aspect of our current spiritual condition, although difficult to specify, continues to be a powerful force in our national life.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

Shyness can ruin an otherwise nice holiday (and other life) experiences. One thing that modern neuroscience has shown us is how important human relationships are to setting the tone of our brains for the good and bad. A great way to manage your shyness is to nourish others, and not merely resort to micromanaging your own body and mind. Give, love, and be grateful. As an expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I try to provide a working general approach to this topic. Giving and loving and feeling grateful are wonderful ways to take the spotlight off your painful preoccupation with yourself.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

A good list. One thing that modern neuroscience has shown us is how important human relationships are to setting the tone of our brains for the good and bad. A great way to manage your own stress is to nourish others, and not merely resort to micromanaging your own body and mind. As an expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I try to provide a working general approach to this topic. Giving and loving and feeling grateful are wonderful ways to relieve stress.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

Clearly, digital technology is reaching ever deeper into our lives. Especially when it comes to its place in family life — and here is one example — there is randomness and chaos in how we manage it. The larger context of the place of digital media in our lives, especially as they intersect with our values and how we shape our culture and civilization is a topic of endless fascination and reactivity. But there is really no meaningful conversation in popular culture about a systematic and comprehensive approach to this vital space. As an expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I try to provide a working general approach to this topic.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

Good thoughts.

One other aspect that I emphasize in my book KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES is how we raise kids in this media-rich world. As an expert on kids and families in my office and the author of I emphasize the importance of raising kids from very early to benefit from digital media as good managers of how information impacts their lives.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

Good in-depth discussion. Thanks! The larger context of the place of digital media in our lives, especially as they intersect with our values and how we shape our culture and civilization is a topic of constant, but random and chaotic discussion. Values education seems to be getting almost no discussion. I wish there were more discussion within a specific space KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES that addresses how we raise kids in this media-rich world. As an expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I emphasize the importance of including values education in a media diet. Unfortunately, part of the deficit is the absence of true heroes in kids’ lives.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

Values seem to be lost in the frenzied torrent of digital information and social noise flooding us. It is at home that we must all put things in proper perspective and learn decency, kindness, and compassion as we raise our kids. As and expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I emphasize the importance of community and collaboration.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

This is great advice. We can strive to become more developed as people. In well-developed people, social relationships are the means to happiness. That is how our brains are made. As and expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I emphasize the importance of relationships, community and collaboration in raising kids. Values education seems to be lost in the torrent of digital information and social noise flooding them. It is at home that they must put things in proper perspective.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

This is great advice, but it needs to be put in a general perspective. So, please let me add that obsession with our own spirituality if it does not extend into living a life with others and a lifestyle revolving around micromanaging our own bodies and minds as a means ‘to be happy’ can often merely reflect an inability to form and keep relationships and truly be nourished by them. In well-developed people, social relationships are the means to happiness. That is how our brains are made. As and expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I emphasize the importance of relationships, community and collaboration in raising kids. Values education seems to be lost in the torrent of digital information and social noise flooding them. It is at home that they must put things in proper perspective.

hp blogger William Horden replied on Dec 21, 2009

“Dr. S,

Thank you for sharing your expertise, your book sounds fascinating.

And I couldn’t agree with you more: an obsession with spirituality would be as counter-productive as an obsession with social relationships.

Wisdom and Compassion, when cultivated diligently, seem to serve well to keep us from becoming obsessed with anything and to keep our feet firmly on the path of fulfilling our roles and relationships in the most profound and ethical manner possible. If that weren’t so, what “values education” would we have to authentically pass on?

The perennial truth has to be adapted to the historical age in which we live. “How” to value teaches greater adaptability than “what” to value.

Thanks for your thought-provoking comment & enjoy the holidays with your loved ones!

wm”

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

This is great advice, but it needs to be put in a general perspective. So, please let me add that obsession with and a lifestyle revolving around micromanaging our own bodies as a means ‘to be happy’ can often merely reflect an inability to form and keep relationships and truly be nourished by them. In well-developed people, social relationships are the means to happiness. That is how our brains are made. As and expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I emphasize the importance of relationships, community and collaboration in raising kids. Values education seems to be lost in the torrent of digital information and social noise flooding them. It is at home that they must put things in proper perspective.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

Values education seems to be lost in the torrent of digital information and social noise flooding us. As and expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I emphasize the importance of community and collaboration in raising kids. It is at home that they must put things in proper perspective.

Link to Original Article

12.21.09

As and expert on kids and families in my office and the author of KIDS, PARENTS & TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES, I emphasize the importance of teaching by example giving and loving in raising kids. “I am worthwhile and a valuable person myself. I have something beautiful and precious to give you. What I have to give is special because I am special.” Even when this message is not fully appreciated, the act of making it is empowering.”

12.20.09

Kids need nutritious, balanced media “diets” for healthy growth and development.

-Good families make for better brains.

-Used appropriately, media can provide vital growth opportunities for children and enhance family relationships.

-Parents are the essential ingredient in their children’s media diets.

Link to Original Article

12.17.09

A great set of resolutions should be less self-centered and also include doing good in this world.

hp blogger James M. Lynch replied on Dec 17, 2009 at 22:27:02

“Eitan,

Thanks for adding this. I think the best return on investment is the time spent ‘doing good’ in this world. If everyone decided to add even one day of service a month, what would this year look like? Wow!

Sincerely,

James”

12.16.09

Kids, Parents, & Technology – a new space

Google is pushing the envelope brilliantly with every development, and is bringing amazing ideas and apps to the public. As a doctor who is exploring the space created by the intersection of technology, neuroscience, child development, and family life, I would love to see Google join me and meld its superb resources and innovativeness with pro-social projects that support child development and family life in a systematic and comprehensive way.

Link to Original Post

12.16.09

The space at the intersection of kids, families, neuroscience and technology is underdeveloped and rife for corporate entrepreneurship. Although commercial possibilities will no doubt develop quickly and can be crass and exploitive, I would like to posit that pro-social, family- and child-centered approaches to this space can also be monetized and compete in popular culture. As a psychiatrist with 70,000+ hours ‘flying time’ learning about kids and families and a researcher I would like to start an intelligent conversation with techy types about the possibilities, which I explore in my book KIDS, PARENTS AND TECHNOLOGY: A GUIDE FOR YOUNG FAMILIES.

Link to Original Article

12.15.09

Dieting is right on. Unfortunately, a diet is not merely about restriction but mainly about healthy nutrition – balance and quality. Children especially need media diets because otherwise they consume junk. The space formed in the intersection of neuroscience, kids, parent, and technology needs a sensible and comprehensive approach – see my new book…

blogger lfabs replied on Dec 15, 2009 at 15:05:02

“Good point!”

Link to Original Article

12.14.09

Emphasizing positive benefits of media is important in raising kids in a technology-rich world. Parents need to join kids in exploring this wonderful world, but must really be in charge and assure kids get good media diets and not be let alone to consume junk. Values education is an important part of a healthy media diet, and positive involvement in online communities a pro-social act.

Link to Original Article

12.9.09

Parents can now create a diet with daily menus that tap into the power of digital technology to help family life and child development. In moderation and as entertainment, video games can be opportunities for development of social relationships and visuomotor skills. Some have great graphics and music and are actually modern art forms. But video games should be only the dessert component of a healthy media diet for kids, which parents can now design and implement.

Commented Dec 09, 2009 at 05:45:13 in Living

“Actually, digital parents raising digital kids may know lots about technology but need to learn how to manage a balanced digital diet for each child in todays tech-rich world.”

Commented Dec 09, 2009 at 05:31:45 in Living

“A great topic and worthy of a whole book!”

Link to Original Article

12.7.09

Interacting with digital gadgets can be highly seductive and absorbing because such devices offer so many great opportunities for so many simultaneous activities. For many, especially youngsters, executive decisions about what to do first and what to defer, what can have priority and what cannot, are difficult to make on the run with the stream of information flowing so powerfully into our lives. To some, a frenzy of multitasking and texting can be a wonderful alternative to dealing with more difficult things like relationships or other serious matters. For others, they offer the illusion of quality relationships through a mere quantity of trivial connections. It is becoming increasingly necessary for parents to take charge and focus kids’ media lives into constructive channels.

Link to Original Article

12.7.09

‘Helicopter parenting’ is actually a form of neglect because it is often be driven by a parent’s own personal anxiety or insecurity and serves the parent’s needs without regard to appropriateness and the child’s own developmental needs. Unfortunately, there are too many so-called childhood experts who fuel parent insecurity by publishing intrusive self-help and early education agendas. Over-parenting can actually become abuse in its extreme form as Munchausen’s Syndrome, where a parent seeking attention for her/himself presents a well child to doctors as ill and forces unnecessary and sometime risky diagnostic and treatment procedures.

Link to Original Article

12.7.09

While a continuing political commitment to early childhood education is crucial, the way to make the best people has to start with the family. The brain best evolves from the get go in the context of sound relationships, tying cognitive development to how the child is loved, protected, and stimulated– the earlier the more so. It makes sense that the protection of and heavy support to families also has to become a more prominent feature of the early education debate. As lifelong child advocate and specialist in children and families, I am sad to report that despite all the digital opinions and information floating in cyberspace good parenting leading to sound child development has really not improved much and the general level of psychosocial health of men and women now raising children is declining. Developing our best natural resource — our children — is still labor-intensive and low tech and requires a commitment that many young families find it difficult to make or focus. So — parents need help to parent — even the most wealthy and educated.

12.6.09

Inspiring devoted teachers — I can count mine on one hand after, let’s see, 20 years of formal education — are as rare as hen’s teeth. These diamonds in the rough deserve our nurturing, protecting, and taking care of — they give more to our kids than we can ever imagine.

Link to Original Article

12.5.09

FOR PARENTS AND TEACHERS!

Dr. S’ message is both urgent and timely: “We are now in the second decade of the Web, and the good news is that many uses of interactive media can actually advance kids and bring families together. But the bad news is that the present mix of kids, families and technology is not working well. The alarming news is that while families are more easily adopting new technology, online families with kids are becoming more likely to drift apart. More than ever, we need healthy ways to bring kids, families, and technology together. Dr. S has developed a healthy and sensible way to manage children’s media lives to make the most of the great opportunities out there.”

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12.5.09

These are good points. Actually, recently studies show that the obesity epidemic, especially in kids, is not really only from eating in front of a screen. What they do NOT do is the culprit — kids are just not engaged in moving, standing, walking, playing and doing — the stuff of an active life. Like food diets, merely restricting is really insufficient — a sensible plan must include building in supervised alternative uses.

When it comes to the power of media in our homes, many of us are still too awed by these magical devices and lack the confidence and knowledge to take charge and make media life more beneficial at home. Children’s inactivity often reflects that of parents: Sadly, parents often do not mind exposing their kids to the junk food in popular media hawked by merchandisers who have nothing but their own interest in mind, certainly not the children’s.

Well, imho, the time has come for parents to take charge in managing their media-soaked kids’ media lives. They must 1st believe that they can succeed and that they can make good media diets for their families and that can really benefit their kids. Hopefully, they can commit to making a systematic, thoughtful, and sustained effort, like working on a marriage, a nutritious eating plan, physical exercise, or making any positive lifestyle change. There are really no shortcuts here.

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12.4.09

What wonderful ideas. I often urge my patients, whom I hold close to my heart, both young and old, that gratitude is wonderful medicine. It is hard to be grateful and at the same time feel victimized, unengaged, hopeless. Being grateful for the people in our lives is a special blessing. Counting your blessings is a great way to live.

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12.4.09

Our technical inventiveness, free markets, and openness to diversity and innovation make the US an incredible spawning ground for amazing discoveries. As enchanted as we are with this beautiful stuff, let us not forget that these are ultimately the products of our human brains. Our technical inventiveness, free markets, and openness to diversity and innovation make the US an incredible spawning ground for amazing discoveries. As enchanted as we are with this beautiful stuff, let us not forget that these are ultimately the products of our human brains.

Obvious? Well – enter neuroscience as it has been evolving in the past several decades.

Our brains’ complexity evolved primarily to enable calculations that enable out social relationships. Pure and simple — our brains and their activities – our minds are what they are because of the biological necessity of social bonding. Rocket science, neurosurgery, gee-whiz gadgets, great art, etc. are but side benefits of this wonderful miracle.

So – when we consider what gadgets to buy, especially for our kids, we must consider technology’s impact on the ecologies of our brains. Raising kids, we must protect their brains and minds as they interact with new technologies at the expense of family relationships.